So … you all know how we been in lockdown… well it’s def been a learning and trying time in the home front. As a parent, it takes some patience and grace… and a few minutes of quiet!!!
I recently was telling someone about how I like to sit in my mudroom and drink my coffee alone. Or bring my shake in there and sit quietly to get a breather from all the chaos. I call it a “Momma Mindful Minute”. The person responded “Well don’t let them know you are needing that minute… they will see that as weakness… they will WIN!” My first thought “oh geesh maybe you’re right!! That does make me seem weak!” but very quickly that switched.
You see, I have been working very hard on emotional intelligence with the kids. My kids are very REACTIVE … screamers, criers, temper tantrums, kick things kinda kids!! Which in my opinion is not healthy… they are ignoring the emotion and treating it with aggression! Getting them to PAUSE to recognize what they are feeling and then responding to that emotion in a healthy way, rather than the tantrums and freakouts has been a big focus here! We take “Mindful Minutes” which I talk about in my online community VibeTribe often. I recently did a whole video on how powerful it was working here is my house. It’s a wonderful tool I have been incorporating for some time to help now to help the kids calm themselves in a positive way and not feel like they are being punished for feeling all the feelings.
So… Is me taking a moment to gather myself, calm myself, and breathe a weakness?? Do you think I should hide if I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed?? How about if your sad do you communicate this with your kids or do you hide your emotions?
I have been open about emotions here. Intentionally expressing how I feel at certain points. Explaining to the kids my personality and how it is linked to my need to have quiet time. When we lost our family pets last fall… I sat and cried with the kids instead of hiding by myself like it was wrong. When I lose my patience… I be sure to explain to them why and how I need to work on my own RESPONDING rather than being a REACTOR. I tell them I am sorry and I too make mistakes!
You see… I am not perfect! They are not perfect. You are not perfect! And that is OK!!! We all have emotions and outburst. We shouldn’t hide our feelings deep inside, or act like we are always “Positive Peggy’s”… there is nothing to be ashamed about! Life will throw many things our way where we will feel all sorts of things. As a parent, with a goal of creating capable, happy humans who can deal with all that life throws at them, in a healthy way… I feel I need to be open. Share my tools with hopes that it helps them.
A “Momma Minute” will give me a second to gather my thoughts, process my stress and be a better Mom… a better role model. Now… they are aware of my needs and feeling they give me less resistance when I tell them I need to take one. They already get it! The power of space and time… power of the pause.
What’s your thoughts?? Do you push your emotions down or are you open with the kids about how your feeling?? I think it’s a great thing to have a conversation about because so many people feel like in order to “win” as a parent we need to be “strong” but what does it mean to you when you hear “strong”? To me it means confident and sure of ourselves and know how to process emotions without feeling shame.
Jump on over to VibeTribe and share your thoughts… It’s a FREE online community where we are all Mommas on this crazy journey… supporting, lifting and rising to be the best versions of ourselves!
~ xo L
